There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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