their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
