fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize