I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
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Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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