I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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