We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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