you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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