He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
