I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
