ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
There r osticjed everywhere
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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