Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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