I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
