I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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