Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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