I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
