I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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