frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
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Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
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Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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