yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
