please come you make the beer taste better
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
