I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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