My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
