i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
