now i know why i became what i already was.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
