i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
