ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
