no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
