She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Don't make out with my wife yet
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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