she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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