Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
