no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
