absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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