I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
whose ass print is on the piano?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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