is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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