Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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