Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
