Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
