thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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