dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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