are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
