I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize