the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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