So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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