yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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