My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
