found the other keg... it's in the tree
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
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I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
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Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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