Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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