I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Panties = found
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
