mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
