his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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