Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
A+ Viking dick
All I want is dick and wine.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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