just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
