Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
