it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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