Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
