Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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