70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
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