mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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