Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
