spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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