When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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