And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
