One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
