i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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