Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!

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  (202): Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER! http://tfl.nu/jion
  Replies (30) Good night (4909) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.

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  (248): Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there. http://tfl.nu/llil
  Replies (55) Good night (1299) Bad night (3485)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.

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  (925): Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress. http://tfl.nu/wf9p
  Replies (20) Good night (1182) Bad night (6790)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.

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  (778): I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter. http://tfl.nu/71jn
  Replies (7) Good night (5236) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  when are you leaving homes?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I had a sex dream about Oprah.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  go back to sleep

  (302): View more from Delaware

  dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.

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  (302): when are you leaving homes? (610): it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51 (302): I had a sex dream about Oprah. (610): go back to sleep (302): dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah. http://tfl.nu/idf1
  Replies (16) Good night (1421) Bad night (5343)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up

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  (214): Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up http://tfl.nu/l4k9
  Replies (6) Good night (737) Bad night (1570)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.

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  (306): We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them. http://tfl.nu/jpsq
  Replies (8) Good night (2065) Bad night (559)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.

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  (516): Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night. http://tfl.nu/4blv
  Replies (6) Good night (845) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.

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  (808): My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever. http://tfl.nu/qc0x
  Replies (6) Good night (948) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.

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  (443): Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her. http://tfl.nu/t8u7
  Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse

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  (651): I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse http://tfl.nu/8kf4
  Replies (2) Good night (381) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high

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  (408): Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high http://tfl.nu/gssl
  Replies (0) Good night (449) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Did you at least offer to let him get it out??

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  (901): I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment. (662): Did you at least offer to let him get it out?? http://tfl.nu/gv0l
  Replies (4) Good night (798) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.

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  (309): He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys. http://tfl.nu/x76x
  Replies (11) Good night (478) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.

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  (714): I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day. http://tfl.nu/e3fy
  Replies (1) Good night (612) Bad night (263)

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