Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long

(1-604): View more from British Columbia

wtf you measured my hair?

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(604): found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long (1-604): wtf you measured my hair? http://tfl.nu/f3a1

Replies (20) Good night (1468) Bad night (4614)
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(415): View more from California

I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny

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(415): I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny http://tfl.nu/icdv

Replies (41) Good night (1038) Bad night (4263)
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(518): View more from New York

im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'

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(518): im in his phone as 'great ass to tap' http://tfl.nu/xhkl

Replies (26) Good night (10137) Bad night (1660)
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(810): View more from Michigan

I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.

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(810): I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future. http://tfl.nu/04uk

Replies (31) Good night (1846) Bad night (6670)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.

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(301): Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning. http://tfl.nu/0np0

Replies (6) Good night (5577) Bad night (860)
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(248): View more from Michigan

The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children

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(248): The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children http://tfl.nu/7xpu

Replies (6) Good night (4531) Bad night (944)
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(801): View more from Utah

I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER

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(801): I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER http://tfl.nu/tbl0

Replies (13) Good night (3841) Bad night (765)
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(513): View more from Ohio

We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.

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(513): We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit. http://tfl.nu/qhz6

Replies (2) Good night (2194) Bad night (682)
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(301): View more from Maryland

If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.

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(301): If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful. http://tfl.nu/gi9x

Replies (14) Good night (1016) Bad night (450)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet

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(605): You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet http://tfl.nu/kwah

Replies (4) Good night (1105) Bad night (449)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER

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(651): YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER http://tfl.nu/3hsg

Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (316)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.

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(937): Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though. http://tfl.nu/d5b6

Replies (0) Good night (551) Bad night (295)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.

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(901): So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity. http://tfl.nu/0b51

Replies (6) Good night (1231) Bad night (340)
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(740): View more from Ohio

See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want

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(740): See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want http://tfl.nu/eckw

Replies (7) Good night (939) Bad night (246)
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(810): View more from Michigan

We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.

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(810): We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it. http://tfl.nu/z8f7

Replies (0) Good night (363) Bad night (356)

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