I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK