Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
