Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there

(217): View more from Illinois

Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is

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(415): View more from California

Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.

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(415): View more from California

this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.

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(815): View more from Illinois

it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.

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(330): View more from Ohio

We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.

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(520): View more from Arizona

We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.

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(951): View more from California

ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP

(1-951): View more from California

Have fun and good luck.

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