Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.

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(573): I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off. http://tfl.nu/hleo

Replies (16) Good night (2900) Bad night (550)
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(239): View more from Florida

I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.

(239): View more from Florida

I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.

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(239): I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning. (239): I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais. http://tfl.nu/n26p

Replies (18) Good night (704) Bad night (1391)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.

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(973): we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical. http://tfl.nu/h352

Replies (131) Good night (14464) Bad night (3034)
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(813): View more from Florida

It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.

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(813): It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you. http://tfl.nu/aegn

Replies (10) Good night (3178) Bad night (847)
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(408): View more from California

Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.

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(408): Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class. http://tfl.nu/q2vz

Replies (12) Good night (3165) Bad night (1206)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.

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(832): Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse. http://tfl.nu/qyce

Replies (4) Good night (795) Bad night (2966)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it

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(910): he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it http://tfl.nu/qxjz

Replies (13) Good night (3857) Bad night (1296)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.

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(403): Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person. http://tfl.nu/qpdl

Replies (15) Good night (2150) Bad night (2749)
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(530): View more from California

My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.

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(530): My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/pzgc

Replies (13) Good night (3888) Bad night (1208)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?

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(610): At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again? http://tfl.nu/9wdz

Replies (10) Good night (3375) Bad night (824)
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(707): View more from California

They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven

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(707): They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven http://tfl.nu/tpek

Replies (10) Good night (2000) Bad night (633)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.

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(618): I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low. http://tfl.nu/dyuf

Replies (5) Good night (449) Bad night (1372)
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(917): View more from New York City

Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.

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(917): Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP. http://tfl.nu/0qve

Replies (2) Good night (411) Bad night (729)
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(315): View more from New York

Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?

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(315): Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot? http://tfl.nu/v4u6

Replies (1) Good night (318) Bad night (207)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.

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(502): I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week. http://tfl.nu/9hig

Replies (1) Good night (310) Bad night (372)

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