Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.