Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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