Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
